


Paradigm

by teaandchess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Megstiel - Freeform, Oral Sex, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:52:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1288492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaandchess/pseuds/teaandchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternative universe, Team Freewill has joined with demons and monsters to battle a common enemy. Spending the night at an old house and getting ready for the coming war ahead leaves Castiel and Meg both tense and having to acknowledge that the tension between them is leading somewhere deeper. Hanging on the precipice of something deeper than allies, Castiel and Meg spend the night together, with neither admitting what it may mean as night turns to morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Paradigm

  
  
    The interior of the old house was so silent that he was sure a pin could drop and  the entire hunting party that called it sanctuary would hear it. So he crept through the halls as quietly as he could, keeping his actual form hidden from view as he went from room to room to make sure they all were safe. Young hunters, old ones, people from all walks of life who had chosen this painful path needed to be kept safe from harm and that was his mission.  
    Half-way hidden in the Ozark Mountains, Benny had founded a safe house for Hunters and their allies, a way of keeping evil out no matter what form it took, and it was being put to good use after years of abandonment. It was a massive old building, part of a torn down saw mill that had been haphazardly remade into a house, and Benny took pride in every corner of the ancient place. His promise to Dean was holding steadfast and Castiel had never thought to be thankful to a vampire before.       
    Safety was desperately needed now.  
    War had been declared, far more formally than ever before, and every day the Hunters and their allies fell to the weight of their responsibilities. Castiel had stood by on some occasions, sad and unable to change what had to come, and watched as the Winchesters went from mere hunters to leaders. From friends to enemies with those Hunters who had allied with Crowley. In the end, it had all come down to definitions of free will and responsibility. Those that had sided with the Winchesters, those that sided with Heaven, or those that had sided with Crowley and his Purgatory-hardened slaves.  
    Castiel doubted any had expected how many humans would have sided with Crowley.  
    Or how many demons had turned on their former ruler when he started to replace them.  
    It had gone against every inborn instinct, every lesson learned, to side with demons and monsters. There still were problems of trust and even splitting of reward. But now angels, hunters and demons were forced to fight beside each other as every day a very different apocalypse reared its head. Three factions were fighting; the righteous, the fallen, and the evil.   
    It was either fight or face obliteration.  
    So Castiel kept his humans and his friends as safe as he could as he watched them struggle day to day with something he’d already come to terms with. He’d already accepted that he was now partners with those he used to hate. Instead of being a soldier or leader, he’d become the peacekeeper and he was sure being so had saved Dean from having his throat slashed open by a very frustrated demon leader.  
    But they had a battle to win now. Not the war; that would be months coming.  
    They had to survive long enough to get to that.  
    The quiet old house creaked and groaned as he groggily made his way through the halls, fingers running over old banisters and tapping on cracked framework. In his head he kept a running check of where each human was, each demon and each monster who had joined them. Vampire, werewolf, demon, hunter, angel… it didn’t matter. They all had to be kept within his mind as allies until they proved otherwise.  
    Naturally, Dean was making the best of being stuck in a house with strangers.  
    The eldest Winchester was playing a game of cards with two sister hunters, who he had offered to ‘share’ with Castiel if the occasion rose the way he was trying. There certainly had been enough whiskey being passed around to make it a possibility.  
    Castiel wasn’t innocent any longer to the reference. Dean had tried for the past year to have Castiel as a ‘wing man’, though Castiel was sure that wasn’t a reference to his angelic nature at all. It was clear that Dean was trying to do him a favour with the female hunters and though they’d been attractive and kind, Castiel had no real interest. He’d declined despite the open invitation in the girls’ faces. Apparently, ‘deflowering’ an angel was still seen as a badge of some honour and he knew Dean would have brought it up as incentive.   
    The angel hadn’t been able to hide his lack of enthusiasm for the female hunters and after Dean had calmed the insulted eldest sister down, he’d yanked Castiel to the door.  
    “Come on, Cas.” Dean had tried his faithful old line. “Could be our last night on earth you know. You can’t tell me that you’re not a little curious. Do something you always wanted to do for once.”  
   “I will. Eventually. I have other things to do first.”   
    The Winchester had stared at him for a moment before muttering, “I don’t think I want to know.”   
    When he came to the living room where Benny and two other hunters were still going over the battle plan with a young witch named Carlyse, he saw that Sam was curled up on the sofa with a dark haired woman asleep on his chest. Castiel had stopped to watch for a moment, ignoring Benny’s greeting in favour of being sure that Sam was in a peaceful sleep with Amelia. Amelia, the girl who was more than what any of them had expected, and who had risked everything. Who was Sam’s tired companion now in a time, sharing him with Dean when the youngest Winchester needed to be kept on the path he had to be on.  
    He left them alone as well.  
    Sighing, he left the house out to the front porch, taking in the cold air and fresh smell of trees in bloom. Immediately his senses were on alert for anything that could be brewing within the shadows and he leaned against the porch rail to look more closely.  
   “There’s nothing there. I’ve been watching for an hour since I came back with the werewolves.”  
    He closed his eyes and reopened as Meg walked slowly up the rotted steps towards him. She stopped on the fourth step and looked at him in that unusually direct way she had. Her dark hair formed a curious halo in the moonlight but a glimmer of silver and white drew his eye to the ever-present angel blade still strapped to her thigh. The one he’d given her for safekeeping, a long time ago, and the one she’d changed into a weapon of wickedness appropriate for a demon of her power.  
    His little caretaker whose bite was as deadly as her bark.  
    “You came back.”  
    “I’m not about to run from kicking Crowley’s ass back to the Pit,” she said with a vicious smile. “Seems quiet in there.”  
    “The hunters are keeping calm and so are the werewolves and vampires. I think it is for the sake of their nerves.”  
    “Probably. The most us demons get to do is pretend we’re allowed off our leashes long enough to kill something.”  
     Realizing she was baiting him, he didn’t answer and simply watched as she came up another step.   
    “I thought you’d be in there, all battle plans and drinks with Dean and Sam. Usual Team Freewill crap that we’re all excluded from until you need us.”  
    “They’re occupied.”     Meg waved her hand to try to get him to elaborate and Castiel sighed. “With… forms of relaxation.”  
    That made the demon laugh and he rolled his eyes upwards. “I’m glad you find it amusing.”  
    “Oh come on, Cas.” She reached out and poked him in the side to move him over while she finished climbing the steps. Once she stood at the porch rail, she leaned into him a little and gave him a sly grin. “I saw that one hunter looking at you hard enough. You could probably be relieving yourself of that angelic stick up your ass.”  
    He looked back out and Meg shrugged, continuing across the porch to the door.   
    Castiel rubbed at the back of his neck and shook his head. “I don’t want to be with someone I don’t know.  Someone I have no emotion for than soldiers. Angels are not like that, Meg, or at least I am not. There would be no comfort there for me. I would rather just wait for the hours to go by than have something that hollow.”  
    He let his voice drop a little further, knowing it was wrong to even voice his thoughts. “What use is being fascinated by something if it would be blasphemy on both sides?”  
    The angel heard her heels screech on the old hardwood as she stopped and turned towards him. He looked over his shoulder at her and their eyes locked, dark brown clashing with blue. Castiel wondered what she saw that made her look so hesitant at the admission underscoring his words.  
      Meg had changed in the past year, the by-product of surviving Crowley and deciding to finally make a cause of her own choice. She wasn’t the same demon he’d thrown in the fire or even the same one who had used him for protection and ended up earning his devotion in a time of need. She was strong and becoming more than any of them had expected. In the end, he’d become more than a naive angel consumed with trying to control what was meant to be. But he still wasn’t sure what that meant between them.  
    She dragged her gaze away when the front door banged open.  
   “Meg!” Carlyse was yanking her wool coat on as she leaned out the doorway. “I was waiting for you to come inside with the pack. What took you so long?”  
    Meg glanced at her while Castiel looked away.  
    “Benny’s got an idea about getting through the factory line to get the new-born hybrids.” Her dusky skin was almost flush with excitement.   
    “You told the Winchesters yet?” Meg asked.  
    The witch looked between her and the angel curiously, sensing the tension lingering between them.  
   “No.”  
   “Plan it out with Benny and get Sam to help.” Meg looked away from her again and snapped her fingers. “Go on.”  
    Castiel waited for the door to close once more before looking back at Meg. “You trust her?”  
    “Actually, I don’t. I fully expect her to betray us. But Benny is good at keeping her in line since she’s become so devoted.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t trust, Castiel. Not easily and not for long. All of this is against our natures, you know that.”  
    “I do.”   
    They stared at each other for another long moment before Meg looked up at the skyline. “We’ve got hours till dawn.”  
   “I know.”  
    Her eyes slid back to him and he nodded at the question he could see lingering on her lips.   
    The silence dragged on again until the demon nodded back sharply, as if deciding something, and turned around to open the door. Castiel watched her from where he leaned against the rail, aware of his heart starting to pound uncomfortably hard. If his vessel still had a soul left, Jimmy would have been protesting the abuse it did to his bones. But he could only stare at the tiny demon as she looked over her shoulder at him one more time, looking a mixture of apprehensive and inviting, before she closed the screen door behind herself.  
    Knowing what he was about to do, knowing it was because he wanted to do it for once, he followed Meg through the door. He made sure to keep a step behind her just in case he lost his nerve;  through the parlours and living rooms that led maze-like to the back stairs, he was aware of the curious stares of the hunters and demons, and more than a few whispers about what could be going on.  
    Castiel tried to ignore Benny’s knowing grin when he walked past him.  
    Meg still walked with a limp, an after-effect of torture and wounds left by hellhounds, and Castiel tilted his head to look her up and down.  Aware that he was seeing her with far more detail than he ever had before, he watched her go up the back stairs ahead of him. Her meatsuit hadn’t really changed but her true face had; no longer as scarred and hideous to him as it had been before but now something of weary life and long-suffered pain. Worn through emotions as threadbare as his own and perhaps just as wounded as any of them.      
    She stopped at the top of the stairs and turned. Meg was separated from him by a stretch of cracked wooden steps that might as well have spanned a chasm, and Castiel froze halfway up the stairs, not sure what else to do.  
    He saw her face shift, as if she was deciding something, and then she was gone around the corner.  
    Sighing, he closed his own eyes and apparated to where he knew she was going. Meg had taken possession of the old attic room from Benny, her dislike of working in a group extending to their odd ‘social’ hours as Dean called it.  In a house that often crawled with demons, angels, vampires, humans, and other monsters, she’d managed to find the one space to keep to herself. It was cold and Spartan at first sight and was nothing more than a space where she could pretend she wasn’t stuck with the rest of the fallen. She was possessive and territorial about being left alone and the only allowance she’d been given was that Benny regularly scoured the place out for any signs of her deviating to another side.  
    Castiel knew how much an invasion his coming here was and he looked around the familiar setting before facing the door.  
    Meg looked troubled as she came through and she stopped with a jerk of motion when she saw him standing there. She gestured in the air, mouth opening and closing uselessly while pointing behind herself. Castiel blinked, waiting patiently for her to continue to say whatever was on her mind, but Meg shut the door and leaned against it.  
    The click of the lock sounded ominous enough.  
    “You sure we want to do this?”  
     Castiel blinked again like a bird about to have its wings snapped before he looked at her. His very expression was innocence. “Do what?”  
     Meg sighed and put her hand to her eyes. “Play checkers, what do you think?”  
    When she pulled her hand away, he was so close that he could have just leaned forward and touched her. This time she didn’t flinch away, simply tilted her head and looked up at him,  and Castiel stared down at her.  
    “We never once played checkers in the hospital.” He gave her a smirk at their private joke. “Or Twister.”  
     Her teeth glinted in a vengeful grin while she rested her head back on the door. “I’d cheat anyway.”  
    Meg was more than aware of the growing tension started to thicken the air between them.  
    “I know.” Castiel’s eyes were growing dark and more dilated the longer he stared at her. It almost made her lose her breath to see it. “I don’t know how to do this.”  
    “You’re trusting me a lot then,” Meg muttered. “If we’re doing what I think we’re doing.”  
     He nodded and he lifted a hand to push her dark waves over one shoulder, thumb stroking one curl curiously.  
    “It’s different for cloud-hoppers?”  
    Another nod, another touch to her hair before he thought of an answer.  
    “We were never humans, like you. It is a merely melding of light for us there. The purpose is usually just unity I assume. Gestures of true solidarity. I have a feeling sex means very different things to humans. To demons.”  
    “Usually it is either just fun or dominance for demons, yeah. But it’s not that different between the species when you get to the heart of it. Remove the need to procreate, it’s just fascination in seeing what happens.”  
    He kept his eyes on the point of her shoulder. “So why the fascination?”  
    “Curiosity,” she admitted.  
    Suddenly he looked at her intently. “Why are you letting me?”  
    Meg grinned wickedly back. “Curiosity.”  
    He opened his mouth to argue and she leaned in. Startled by how close she really was, Castiel jerked back and Meg grasped him by his chin to hold him still. His pupils were dilated and wild seeming, caution making it hard for him to look her in the eye. Meg bit into her lower lip and pulled him down, fingers slipping along his neck before curling into his dark hair.  
    Castiel felt her mouth press against his, a simple touch that reminded him of their first kiss. He could still taste that bitter underline of darkness and heady smoke, but this time the fingers in his hair were gentler, calmer even. Tilting his head to the side, he leaned into the kiss and parted her lips with his, his tongue slipping past her teeth to tentatively stroke hers. The faint sound of pleasure she let escape was enough to encourage him to move closer. He wrapped an arm around her waist and moved her back against the door, fingers squeezing her hip when her tongue lapped at his lower lip.  
    He figured he did something right when the fingers in his hair curled tighter through the dark strands and she tried to hold him closer. He caught her hair in his own hand and tugged down so that she was forced into him. It made the kiss deeper and harsher and he groaned when she pushed her mouth up at him, her fingers scratching through his hair. Breaking the kiss, he saw the faint haze in her expression before he moved to kiss the pulse he could see throbbing hard now in her throat.  
    Meg murmured something under her breath and her fingers went to his coat.   
    The way she slowly pushed it over his shoulders made Castiel feel like she was shedding the best piece of his armour and he let it go mournfully to the floor, shuddering at the cold draft in the attic. The pile it made at his feet was still warm from his body and he automatically stooped to pick it up again. Meg’s hand was there stopping him, her fingers leading him with just simple pressure that he followed willingly.  
    Her other arm wrapped around his shoulder and she brought him back to her. Her kiss this time was hungry and deep, her tongue meeting his and teaching him what to do. He chased her kiss with his own, quickly adapting and then memorizing what brought soft sounds from her throat. But as Castiel cupped her face in his hand and gently pried her mouth further apart so he could taste more, feel more, the hand she had in his hair dropped to the collar of his shirt. Short nails drew lines across the back of his neck and he felt the way it sent sharp hot signals down his spine. Pulling away in surprise, he felt her do it again and again and his entire body went rigid with desire and confusion.  
    Meg stopped after a moment, her breath warm in his ear, and she adjusted her position against the door. He shuddered and leaned his head against her shoulder as her slim fingers slowly undid his tie and let it drape over his neck.  
   “You’ve got a lot of layers,” she muttered, nipping at his earlobe playfully, and he hesitantly opened an eye to look at her profile.  
    “Is that a metaphor?” Certain this was something he knew, he pulled back to look down at her.  
    “Not this time. Actual fact. How do you not die of heat stroke with all these clothes?” Meg asked as she bit into her lower lip and undid the buttons at his collar.  
    “I can simply…” he gestured with his hand and she grabbed it to stop him.   
    “Nope. If we’re going to teach you how to do this, you’re going to do it right.”  
    “I would have thought romance was part of this then,” he pointed out and he saw her eyes dart to the side. Her other hand still held his and she gently pulled him forward so his fingers were on the hem of her silk shirt.  
    “Let’s not go too far out of bounds, feathers.”  
     He watched his hand as he toyed with the silk lining. “You don’t like the idea of affection.”  
    “It’s not exactly gone right in the past. Demon and all.” She stopped herself in time and crouched down to pick up his coat to avoid his questioning look. When she straightened back up she seemed to recover her equilibrium. “So no.”  
    He nodded as if he understood and used his other hand to cup her chin. Meg’s eyes flicked to his and he drew a tiny circle on her jaw. “Then why are you doing this? Why not simply make this coarse, unforgiving? Brutal? That would be the easiest way.”  
    Meg didn’t have an answer and it showed in the way she leaned forward and kissed him again, her mouth almost punishing his with its intensity. He pulled back a little, fingers repeatedly trying to pull her shirt up but failing to move far.  
    When she gave his shoulders a shove, he willingly stopped kissing her and saw that Meg’s lips were swollen but her eyes were remarkably calm.      
    He watched through half closed eyes as she walked around him and threw his coat on the floor closer to the window, making it the sole covering over the cold wood floor. Castiel almost wanted to protest the rough way she kicked it around to cover the floor but shut his mouth when he saw that she was pulling her shirt over her head now. Her dark hair swished against her back like silk over her pale skin, curling over her shoulders and he leaned back against the door to watch her.   
    Centuries of watching humans and inevitably demons, didn’t quite prepare him for the idea of actually being here himself.  
    Meg glanced over her shoulder, a look he would have seen as coy if he didn’t see the trepidation in her own expression. “If you’re going to run off scared… now’s the time to do it.”  
     Castiel didn’t move so she turned back around and fiddled with her hair, twirling a strand around one finger.   
    Several years ago, if they’d reached this point, she would have been throwing him down and having her wicked way with him. Forcing him even with flirtatious smiles and come-hither lips to undo his righteousness. Any way she could have used to take that wonderful angelic nature and drive it down to her level.  
    But now she wasn’t sure what she wanted or what she could do. She still felt broken and without direction and Meg knew that it was because of her curiosity that she could end up in agony. Again.  
    This was new ground giving way under her feet. Actually wanting another creature beyond a power trip was bitter, and for a second, she was sure she’d rather face torture again than deal with it.  
    Hands grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her back step by resisting step back against him. She felt the crisp white shirt he wore, the tiny buttons that dug hard into her skin and felt his fingers track down her arms.  
   “You don’t have to do this.”  
     She’d never really been given a choice in anything she’d done.  
    Never wanted one when it came to this.  
    The fact that he’d given her a choice again earned him that loyalty she’d chosen to give him.  
   “But you want to,” he finished for her and she felt his hand move from her arm to her back, the knuckles brushing cold against her skin.  
    “Oh Hell,” Meg grumbled as she turned around and faced him. He stared down at her, so completely and deliciously askew with his hair ruffled up on one side and his collar undone to the throat, and seemingly unaware of the picture he gave.  
     Castiel’s startled mutter was swallowed down when she pressed her mouth to his throat, her hands taking his and pulling them up to her shoulders. She rested them there meaningfully, seeing his eyes dart down to check before curious fingers slid the line of her bra straps down over one shoulder and then the other. Meg busied herself with his shirt, taking in a few deep breaths to calm herself down and popping the buttons with slow precision. If she was only going to get the angel once in a way that another demon would only dream about, it was going to last.  
    Patience was a virtue though and she hated virtues sometimes.  
    His nose brushed her hairline and she felt him sucking in a deep breath as she pushed his shirt and suit coat over his shoulders and down his arms, yanking hard on the sleeves to get them over his knuckles. He was mirroring her to discover what to do, she guessed, as he leaned over her back to see how to undo her bra and tried not let her feel his fingers shaking when the clasp finally gave. The pressure of his weight resting against her made her lean up into him, pressing her face into the hot crook of his neck as the jacket and shirt fell in a fluttering pile to the floor. He was using her for support now and the hand on her back curved around her hip to hesitantly cup underneath her breast.  
    Meg shut her eyes. Had it been another time, she would have been dominating him or he would have fighting with her. It would have been forceful and so hurried that she doubted nudity would have little to do with it.  
    But now the equal footing he was placing her on made her realize how vulnerable she was to him.  
    Fingers slid across her stomach, tapping a pattern out that felt suspiciously like words being unspoken, and his mouth brushed her temple. The angel was pulling a con on her senses, she could admit that; she’d not been seduced in a long time and since they’d met outside he’d been bent on seducing her.  
    He just thought she hadn’t noticed.  
    Just as much as she’d been ready to coerce him and hoped he hadn’t noticed.  
    Castiel muttered something impatient when she hesitated and bent at the knees so his mouth could reach hers. Curling an arm around his shoulders, Meg parted her lips and moaned when his tongue slid past hers and licked at her teeth, as if swiping away darkness and leaving behind that clean feeling she only felt when he’d touched her. The hand on her stomach circled back around her hips and tugged her in tighter and she felt his shoulders bunch and coil under her grip, muscles nearly ready to spring. He felt so tense that Meg herself felt like nothing more than a pile of warm flesh in comparison.  
    The rustling of fabric and the meeting of mouths on flesh was impossibly loud in the bare attic as they shifted closer and closer together, until all that remained was a fraction of light whenever their mouths parted long enough to change an angle. The rasp of denim against cotton was drowned out by the soft moan she gave when he staggered his legs to draw her closer. Meg slid her hand down his chest, felt the muscles in his stomach clench when her nails gently raked over the indenture of his hip, and smiled against his mouth at his groan when she nipped at his tongue.  
    His belt unsnapped easily, a crack of leather and clang of metal that was far too loud and he broke away to watch her hand. Instead of letting her go any further, he leaned back in and pressed a kiss to her neck, fast and warm as if to distract her.  
    When he dropped to a knee and kissed her stomach, the demon was so startled that she didn’t stop him. For a second she realized just how strange this was; an angel on his knees in front of a demon as if it was worth something and when her eyes met his she knew that he was thinking the same thing. He shook his head and actually gave that odd quirk to the lips that meant he found it funny. Meg stared down until he lowered his head and started to pull off her boots. It brought her down several inches and she had to hold onto his shoulders to keep from falling over. The floor was ice cold under her bare feet and she curled her toes up while he shifted and then threw his own shoes off, chucking them in the corner with hers.  
    She’d expected him to stand again but he stayed on his knees, hands sliding up her calves and over her knees slowly. The slow crinkle of leather being undone as he unbuckled her sword holster was strangely loud, and then the way he drew the blade out from the scabbard made her stare at him hard. It would have been impossible not to watch the glint of silver as he tested the weight of it in one hand. Castiel didn’t have to look at her face to know how she expected him to turn on her, and shook his head before throwing it to one side.   
    Safely out of reach of both of them.  
     Then with that curious head tilt he looked back up at her as he undid the snap of her jeans and pulled the zipper down. His fingers hooked in the waistband of the denim and underwear and tugged once.  
    Meg licked her lower lip, aware that he was staring at her reverently, waiting for instruction, and eventually she had to look away again because that was making this too surreal. Demons were meant to be used not respected; she’d learned her lesson about that years ago. Castiel remained on his knees, fingers cupping her hips and thumbs pressing against her hipbones, and he pulled down sharply. Together they watched the way the rest of her clothes fell to her feet when he let the waistband go. He helped her step out of the clothing and then muttered for her to stay still. His fingers trailed down her thighs and to her feet, pressing now and then as if to understand why the fingerprint impressions disappeared whenever he let go.   
    Realizing what he was trying to do, taking this from sex to love-making, made her clench her hands tightly in his shoulders to warn him.  
    The angel ignored it, simply pressed on the back of her knees with his one hand until they bent out of reflex and she slid down against his chest. His mouth skimmed over her stomach and she guided his head to her chest while she knelt on his bent legs. Castiel touched her curiously with his mouth, trying to see why just barely lapping at her skin made her press tighter into him. When his lips closed around a nipple, she groaned and pulled him in closer to keep him there.  
    Meg’s muttered instructions were deafeningly loud to his ears when he leaned his head against her chest but he followed them anyway. Her other arm slid down his back, tracing the curve of his spine with fingers and then nails that drew patterns.  
    Her head lowered and she sighed into his ear, a shaky sound that made him pull away and look at her, wondering if he’d done something wrong.  
    The distracted look on her face, as if he’d hurt her, made him cup her face in his hand and turn her gaze back to him forcefully. Her straight and quiet gaze was strange, off from how she normally looked at him, and he leaned forward just an inch.      
    The demon took the invitation, pulling him in close and kissing him in mimicry for how he’d once kissed her. Fingers yanking at his hair, teeth forcing his lips apart and a forceful bend of the neck to try to take as much sensation as much as possible. It was almost suffocating and yet wonderful, so he let her show him how she wanted him to kiss her. When she broke for moment to relieve the pressure, he drew her back down and kissed her in return. The same force of teeth and tongue, the same angles that let him search for any trace of what they had been in the heat of her mouth.  
    Neither needed to breathe yet when he let her mouth go with an audible pop he could feel her heart banging as hard as his was, her breath forcing her breasts up and down his chest rapidly.   
    Meg looked over her shoulder at something, her fingers still carding through his dark hair absently and he leaned down to press a kiss to her other nipple, tongue tracing the hardening flesh. Her fingers tightened a little and he bit down gently to hear her moan again. It was intoxicating to hear her moan for him and he knew he’d been right in wanting to be with her in this moment.   
    Because it was for him. Angels were taught to never be possessive or jealous but he’d wanted her attention and wanted her to admit in some way that she wanted him in return.    
    He felt her belly lift and tremble in expectation and then she was leaning back in his arms, her own arms holding him tight so that she could pull him down with her onto his coat. Castiel kept an arm around her back to keep her from falling and she quickly fixed the coat around her back to keep from being on the bare ground. With just his hand supporting the small of her back, he watched as Meg lay on his coat, hair looking almost black against the light tan, and he swallowed when he realized what she was finally leading him towards.  
    Another angel, a righteous one such as Raphael or Rachel, would have said she looked like Jezebel incarnate with her swollen mouth and pale curves displayed so proudly on the floor.  
    Castiel would have said she looked like a Siren, a form of showing him what he needed at this time. A demon representing absolution and peace with the calm way she was letting him come to her for a comfort that should have been blasphemy.  
    Her dark eyes swept over him curiously and the sound of their breathing grew heavier and heavier in the silence the longer they stared at each other. His hand traced over her stomach, pressing now and then before skimming over the crease of her hip and thigh. Meg propped herself up on her elbows and watched him closely. Even in the shadows it was easy to see the utter concentration on his face as he tracked the way her skin went from soft to damp and they both felt the tightening in her legs when she braced herself.  
    But before he could do more than touch, her hand was grabbing him by the waist of his pants and she pulled him forward until he was hovering over her. Her mouth pushed up at his, tongue flicking out to catch at the corner of his lips and he kissed her in return. It was too much to look her in the eye while kissing her and his eyes shut while he cupped the back of her head to try to hold her still. His pants and boxers were pushed down his hips with him squirming to help her. Meg hooked her foot in the material to shove them down. Castiel took the hint and kicked the clothes away, vaguely aware of what she was doing as he returned to kissing her.  
    He was sure that if all sex had been was kissing then he’d been happy. But he hadn’t lived this long without picking up the barest knowledge he could.  
    Her fingers trailed down his bare hips, and then with a dangerous slip of the tongue in the mouth she grasped his cock tightly and heard his gasp.  
    He lifted his head away to look at her in surprise and Meg smirked as she stroked him and felt a shudder go through his entire body. It felt cold everywhere else on his body but where her hands touched over his groin. Castiel was aware that in true-forms that light melding was explosive but peaceful in the end.  
    This contact of skin on skin and of mouths touching was far more intense than it should have been in comparison. More explosive and more dangerously addictive than he’d expected.  
    “Is it always like this?” he blurted out before he could stop himself and Meg let him go to stare up at him curiously. Unable to keep in his moan of pain, he pushed his hips at her again, wanting her hand stroking him, but she ignored the movement. Her head dropped back down to the floor and he hesitantly rested his weight on top of her at the open invitation.  
    Damn, that didn’t help his control. Castiel closed his eyes at the feeling of her warm body.  
    “Like what?” Meg prompted cautiously and he was glad her voice distracted him as he leaned into her. The way her hips began rocking into his was almost having him wanting to do nothing more than press back into her. Muscle memory of his vessel meant that his body knew what was coming next, what it wanted more than anything, but his actual mind was struggling to keep up.  
    When he managed to open his eyes again, he saw the way she was squirming against him and the way her lower lip was being bitten deeply by her teeth until the skin was threatening to split in two.  
   “Overwhelming?”  
    Meg shook her head and unable to stand it he kissed her once more. He needed to try to relieve the pressure he could feel building in his stomach and joining the raging heat going through the rest of his body. Her legs parted so he sunk down deeper on top of her, the squeeze of her thighs against his waist adding strange comfort in her embrace. There was no space between them now as he leaned all of his weight onto her and kissed her with the growing intensity he’d only been a little aware of. The kisses were still intoxicating enough that he didn’t try to get her to stroke him again.  
    Her breasts were flattened against his chest and he moved his hand over the soft curves to try to see if he could make her moan again with just a touch. Castiel could see why this was addicting at least with someone with as much pride as Meg. Each moan was seen as a tiny sacrifice of her self-control, each gasp and arch a way of sneaking under the edge of her brittle thorns, and they both knew it. When they broke the kiss, her fingers were travelling over his hips again and he knew she was trying to distract him again. He concentrated on finding the spots that gave him the most response, her breasts, the small of her back, the ridge of her collarbones, before he pushed his fingers between them and sought out instinctively what her body was trying to tell him.  
    Castiel had never been as addicted to something so fast as he was to making his one-time enemy cry out. When she did finally throw her head back and make a sound of pleasure and pain, he stared in fascination at the way both of her faces seemed to change.  
    Her head flung to the side when he slid a finger inside of her. He watched the crease go through her forehead and then looked down between them to watch his fingers disappear into her body. He’d not been ready himself for feeling such heat and wetness and he sighed when she moaned again.  
    “What does that feel like?” he asked against her hairline. Meg growled and turned her head back to watch him. He was still staring down at the shadows created between their intertwined bodies with almost innocent curiosity. If he’d been experienced, she would have been twisting him under her and cursing him out for teasing her.  
     But when his eyes drifted back up her body to stare her square in the eye, she kept herself as calm as she could. She bit back another moan when his thumb accidently brushed her clit and her hips jerked up. Castiel’s grin was nearly evil and she shook her head.  
    Angels. Using mind reading and vessel memory to their advantage. And she was considered evil.  
    “I think you know exactly what that does to me.”  
    He lost the innocent look and kissed her forehead gently before rotating his thumb over her clit again with too light of pressure to give her any real satisfaction.  
     Meg let her fingers go down his chest with a warning rake of nails on his skin before she pulled his hand from her. She wasn’t able to hide the ache it caused to lose that penetration but she forced herself to watch the way his attention went to his soaked fingers. Gripping his wrist tightly, she led it to his mouth and watched his tongue dart out curiously to taste what he’d done to her.   
    Unable to help a feeling of satisfaction at seeing that lust-blown look on such a godly creature, Meg smirked and pulled his head down to taste herself on his tongue. Castiel kissed her back in a distracted way, clearly confused by how enthusiastically she swept her tongue into his mouth. The taste of rain and ozone mixed with female and he moaned when she sucked on his tongue. Trying to gain back her sense of control, she pushed on his shoulders but his grip was tight as they rolled a little on the floor. He pinned her back down again, teeth brushing her lower lip.   
    Meg let go of his hand and reached between them to grasp him again, her legs sliding back up. His startled gasp as she arched her hips and pulled him into her made her chuckle against his lips. Wrapping her thighs tighter around him, she pressed her heels into the back of his legs and pulled him down tighter into her until their bodies were locked and he was thrusting into her. Castiel’s moan was long and low and she hissed for breath when his body jerked a little in surprise at the feel of her soft heat surrounding him.  
    The muscles in his stomach clenched repeatedly as he struggled to breathe and his heart was pounding so hard that she could feel it matching her own erratic heartbeat. He looked away from her, hair getting into his eyes when he shook his head. He tucked his hips hard into hers and shuddered again when he pushed deeper inside of her . The emotions that went flying through his expressions were changing so quickly that he seemed to be having trouble coming to terms with what he was feeling. Meg watched his face, for the moment absolutely fascinated by his reaction, and not caring that this wasn’t what being a demon and fucking should be like.   
    She was supposed to just take what she wanted and leave it at that.  
    Meg wasn’t supposed find an angel’s adoring touch addicting and want to keep it for herself.  
    When his breathing went back to controlled and even, Meg lifted her hips and felt his retreat back, a movement that drew him nearly out of her. The fantastic thing about him possessing a meatsuit used to sex was that it had been starved for it for the past years; it was more than willing to make up for his lack of experience. She almost laughed when he pushed back into her as if he couldn’t help it and Castiel’s head turned back so he could look down at her. One elbow propped up beside her head, his fingers tangling in her dark hair to hold her steady. The other hand was trailing over her leg, tracing the back of her knee, and she watched his face.  
     His fingers curved over her thigh and he stared down at her, brow wrinkled in confusion. Meg bit into her lower lip and made a soft sound as he pushed deeper into her. It was easy to lead him with an easy movement and soon the slow rocking motion was a simple rhythm he followed without question. It was a little too gentle for her and she arched up impatiently, wanting more. Something about the look on his face made Meg think he was about to pass out on her but then he pulled her legs further apart and moved even deeper into her.  
    “You okay up there?” she asked, fingers tightening on his shoulders when the new angle made her gasp. His head tilted a little as if in thought before he nodded, letting her leg go so that she could lift it higher on his waist.  
    “I think so. Are you?” Castiel lowered his head and brushed his mouth against her nose, shuddering when her nails pressed against his skin.  
    “Oh you know.” She almost hiccuped when he thrust harder into her to see what it did to them both. He groaned loudly and she squeezed him with her inner muscles to watch the way his eyes darkened even more. “I’m all ready to be a table of study for you.”  
    “You’re doing quite well then,” he teased unexpectedly and she saw his eyes close, his mouth dropping just in reach of her own lips.   
    “Shut up.” She arched her neck to try to kiss him and he pulled back, still nicely settled on his elbows so that her half-hearted attempt to push him over didn’t work. Biting her lower lip, she squirmed and finally dropped her hand to her own breast. “Care to contribute some hands to the effort?”  
      Castiel sighed and looked down at her with an oddly affectionate frown while she rolled a nipple between her fingers. “Do you always talk so much?”  
   “Come on, baby,” she muttered, “if I don’t distract you then this could be a short ride.”   
    His head lowered again, lips resting against lips, and eyes staring into her dark ones. “What makes you certain it would be short?”      
    “Virgin territory. My expectations are low.”   
    That gave her the reaction she’d thought she’d get. He shrugged at first as if that didn’t hurt his feelings. She even thought the insult had rolled off his shoulders until he leaned down onto her. It  almost stole her breath from her body and Castiel grabbed her hand and stopped her impromptu caress.   
    “For a human maybe.” He leaned down and kissed her neck, one hand going to her breast to circle her nipple in the slow, warning drifts that made her moan. “But I’m an angel.”  
     Meg wanted to roll her eyes but his mouth was sucking at her neck in a way that distracted her. “Going to make me pray for salvation then?”  
    “Hopefully.” Castiel’s blue eyes were oddly relaxed though his slow thrusts were clearly playing havoc with his body. Meg met his gaze and thought her dead soul was kindled by the look he gave. “For a start.”  
    Realizing what he was truly saying, she opened her mouth to spout off something cutting when he started thrusting into her harder. His hands drifted down her body to lift her by her thighs, guided by Jimmy’s rather chaste memories and his own study, and she followed the movement with an eager counter-thrust. Grasping him by the shoulders, she looked up into his eyes as he watched hers, both judging each other’s reactions.  
    Meg looked away first again and shut her eyes, wrapping her arm around his neck and drawing him down to lay on her body. His mouth brushed her earlobe and she sank her teeth into his shoulder, bringing a stinging pain that startled him with how much pleasure it brought. He wrapped his arms tighter around her and concentrated on following what his borrowed memories told him to do.  
    The demon kept her eyes closed, tucking her chin into his neck and inhaling the strange smell of rain that always lingered on his skin, now mingling with the smells of sex and sweat. Her tongue darted out to lap at the beads of sweat that gathered on his collarbone and she felt the salt of his skin actually burn her tongue. The rasp of his own tongue on her neck made her squirm and try to pull him closer. He was large enough that he easily draped over her tiny meatsuit and kept her pinned down.  
    For a moment, she wondered if this would be what feeling covered by wings would feel like.  
    His breathing quickened and she realized how close he was. Years of tension and confused desires made Castiel’s body a bit desperate, a bit more muddled when his brain was involved and Meg could almost hear his thoughts. He was trying to catalogue every sensation and every reaction.  
    She was about to say out loud how predictable he was when his head turned and he kissed her hard, stalling the words. Her breath choked out in a moan as he pulled her in close and raised her hips up to his. He started to move harder and faster into her, each stroke made tighter and deeper with how locked their bodies were. Meg kissed him back dizzily, suddenly overwhelmed by how… there… he was.   
    She wasn’t used to such focus on her, as a demon or as a female.  
    Something soft and feathery brushed her fingers when she swept them down his back and she felt searing light when she tried to grasp what it was. His hand trapped hers back down and their fingers interlocked automatically. She groaned with the effort to hide how it burned to feel his Grace wrapped around her.   
    Castiel was shaking in her arms, a jittering movement that made her hold tighter onto his hand and he pulled away from the kiss, his head dropping to her shoulder. Each thrust was unpractised, arrhythmic now that he was losing control and she managed to chuckle at the tension going through his body as he held her down. She could feel it throbbing through him, letting her know he was about to let go, and with a squirm she managed to get her hand down between them.  
    Might be his first time and he might be doing well, but she wasn’t about to chance it.  
    It startled her when his hand suddenly joined hers, following the circles she traced, and though he didn’t lift his head she could feel him staring at her profile. Her hand went limp and he moved her fingers for her. The thought of him watching her through this made Meg’s back arch and her eyes shut, mouth opening and closing in desperation for an orgasm she hadn’t really expected.  
    There was a soft mutter, foreign words that sounded forceful yet endearing and then he was kissing her again and driving away that darkness that always lingered. He pushed hard into her, crying out against her mouth as he finally gave in to the tension throbbing through his body. She’d expected light-bulbs to burst or at the least for thunder to rumble out but all he did was jerk his hips into her and cry out as if she’d somehow broken him into pieces. Meg raked her nails down his back, wanting to leave an imprint of herself on him and she felt him bite her lower lip hard enough that it swelled under the pressure. She kept herself wrapped around him and their fingers, still joined between their bodies, swept over her clit one last time and she came behind him with a force that made her cry out for more.  
    He fell across her and she welcomed the weight for once, wrapping her arms around his back as she tried control the shocks going through her.  
    Castiel moaned against her neck as she gasped for air, suddenly panting and for once speechless. The sweat clinging to them made it damp to lie on his worn coat, and she went limp when her shaky legs finally relaxed around his legs. His arms were soon wrapped around her, squeezing tightly so that she couldn’t move, and she gave up fighting the hold for the moment. He panted against her ear, and Meg looked over his back to see that her scratches were still there, that he hadn’t healed them. Her own lip was swollen from his bite and she flicked her tongue over it thoughtfully.  
    She could taste his kiss still.  
    He curled into her arms as if she was nothing more than a female he could take comfort from and Meg shifted uncomfortably as the minutes dragged by, not sure what to do. Eventually she simply relaxed into the embrace as much as she could. Castiel’s fingers were soon sliding up and down her skin, as if memorizing the texture and the areas that made her squirm, and when she turned her head to look at him he was staring at her.  
     She wasn’t sure why the look in his eyes made her want to run.  
    “Up to expectations?” she asked but he didn’t answer right away. Instead, his eyes had that odd glow that happened whenever he was seeing beneath her borrowed surface. Then it was gone and he was looking at her normally.  
    “Exceeding them.”  
     She tried to hide the pride she felt at that comment. “Yeah well. Don’t be too hard on the other girls you sleep with. I’m the best at this.”  
     He didn’t flinch. “I have no inclination to be with another female.”  
     Meg rolled her eyes at the very precise way he said it. “Right.”   
    Castiel shrugged and shifted over her, clearly not about to let her escape yet. His arms bracketed her head and she felt trapped. “If I had wanted another female, a human, a demon, an angel, Meg, I would have gone to them.”  
    “So why me, then? Short straw?” she asked as if it was painfully stupid to want her.  
    “Because I wanted you. And you wanted me. As I was and not for any other reason or expectation.” He settled back down into her and laid his head on her breast. Meg slid her fingers into his hair but stopped herself from pulling on the strands. He sighed and she felt his breath brush her collarbone.  
   “So what happens now?” he asked.  
   “One very awkward morning after, I bet,” she growled out. Castiel shifted a little on top of her and she hissed again as he slid out of her. She hated wanting him to stay where he was.  
   “I prefer to do things until I’m well practised. That may make it less awkward.”  
    “That’s not what I meant, feathers,” she muttered and she peered down to see his head tilted against her. Blue eyes, oddly focussed, glimmered up at her.  
    “I know. But I have several hours left to convince you that this is what I wanted.”  
    Meg watched him curl up into her body, arms and legs so tightly tangled around her that she was sure he could kill her with just a squeeze. But for a moment, she trusted him and she closed her eyes to try to ignore that trickle of desire beginning again.  
    He was getting under her skin again and she wondered if there really was a cure.  
    If there was, would she really want it?  
 _~~~~~~~~_


	2. Aftershock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Meg’s agreement and respite slowly continues to a morning after. Knowledge is a weapon, as Castiel knows, and he decides to try seducing Meg this time.

**Paradigm Part 2: AfterShock**  
  
  _“What use is being fascinated by something if it would be blasphemy on both sides?”_  
    Anticipation.  
     _“I don’t know how to do this.”_  
    Doubt.     
 _“You’re trusting me a lot then. If we’re doing what I think we’re doing.”_  
    Confusion.  
 _“Going to make me pray for salvation then?”  
    “Hopefully. For a start.”_  
    Desire.  
 _“I have several hours left to convince you that this is what I wanted.”_  
    The words were all hazy in his mind, played over and over again in slow repeat as he listened to the drumming beneath his ear.  
    It was a slow, unhurried rhythm.   
    Hypnotic and steady… distracting and peaceful.  
    Strange to hear when he knew that what lay underneath the surface was anything but calm.  
     Castiel could hear and feel the slow heartbeat of the body he was lying against, his head pressed just between the space over her ribs with his ear resting against soft skin that still felt a bit cold despite their shared body heat. Her fingers were no longer toying with his hair and he nearly thought she’d forgotten he was here. They’d both remained silent for some time, with Meg’s sprawled body resting comfortably on his coat with her own jacket pillowing her head and her nails tapping against his scalp now and then. The hardwood floor beneath them was chilly as the hour grew later and later, the lack of heat in the old house making even an angel want to curl into any warmth he could find.  
    Meg’s fingers trailed down his ear and he looked up to see her head tilted a little, eyes on the tiny bay window nearby. After grumbling about him being a dead-weight an hour ago, she’d been strangely quiet and hadn’t tried to push him off again. She still felt ready to bolt away though.  
    It was strange how utterly restless the demon still was just underneath the surface of her stolen body. If he’d thought the previous occupant was still there, he’d be worried that she was about to smoke out but she wouldn’t now. She was as bound to that body as any spell could make her and she was oddly attached to it.  
    The body’s soul was as long gone as Jimmy Novak thanks to what had happened in the north and there were only shattered husks remaining that were occupied by Castiel and Meg.  
    He doubted either human would give their consent for such blasphemy to take place with their bodies.  
    Not that Meg would have cared either way.  
    It was an uncomfortable thought and he pushed it to the back of his mind along with every other sin he wasn’t sure he should experience but had in the past few hours. Instead, he turned his attention to figuring out why he was still here and not leaving.  
    His arms cradled her body just enough that he could feel every time she took a breath and he closed his eyes again slowly. It was unusual to be so close to a human in a moment like this; to be fair, he’d always been truly fascinated by Dean and Sam’s pure humanity and the signs of them lingering on their bodies. Dean’s freckles and sometimes too bright of grin, Sam’s meticulous diet and sad eyes; he knew them inside and out, had put them together himself… but this was different.  
    He wanted to know about a body that he really shouldn’t anything of.  
    Meg took in a deep breath and then let it go in a slow exhale, and he sighed with her before tracing his one hand over the ridge of her hipbones. The skin prickled a little, tiny goose-bumps following his fingertips whenever the callused edges snagged on the silky texture, and he watched the progression closely. Then he felt the strips of scar tissue left there by the burning of his wings and Grace when they’d escaped Hell that last time, and he eased the pressure of his fingers a little.  Unable to stop himself, he pressed his lips to the ridged flesh and then blew warm air over the moist trail his mouth had left. The skin itself seemed to come alive under his ministrations.  
    Underneath his own chest, he felt her legs shift a little but she didn’t stop him from what he was doing. He could feel that tension suddenly humming through her though. They’d come to an odd agreement not to question what was happening between them, and Meg had only really given up on arguing so long as he didn’t try his long con again.  
    He’d decided ten minutes ago that that was unacceptable and that he really didn’t know what she meant by ‘long con’.  
    Castiel chalked it up to Meg and her continuously perplexing phrasing and he turned his head to the other side to look at the scars more closely.  
    Her voice rumbled in his ear. “What’re you doin’ there, Clarence?”  
    He shushed her and ran his hand over the curve of her hip next, trailing down her thigh to her knee and then back up. The skin felt so… alive under his touch, and he wondered why he hadn’t noticed it about human bodies before. Meg’s leg lifted a little against his side and he turned his head to nip at the slight curve in her stomach. She sucked in at that, one hand landing on his shoulder and he looked up to see her staring at him.  
    Castiel did it again and this time held the skin in his mouth, sucking a tiny red mark to the surface that her power healed almost as fast as his mouth damaged it. Her fingers brushed his ears, rubbing along the tender skin just beneath the lobes and he shuddered at the unexpected pleasure the touches gave him.  
    “Still trying to… get some study time in, feathers?” Meg asked, voice hitching a little when he licked at her hipbone again.  
    “Your body is very aware,” he said. “It is interesting to watch you and your vessel… connect like this. There’s little other opportunity to see it so close.”  
    “I think I need to work on your pillow talk,” she muttered, shaking her head, and he leaned down, laying his head on her stomach once more. “Might as well give you the grand tour then.”  
    Meg’s fingers tangled in his hair and pushed gently, and he looked up from where he rested against her stomach. She was staring at the ceiling but her hand was firm as she guided him down. With each tiny movement he felt his own tension rise, nervous about what she clearly expected. He’d not really thought, beyond his brave words earlier, to do more than just wait for daybreak but as she shifted her legs apart for him it was clear that she was ready to let him try again.   
    He could smell her, a musky undercurrent of female, pheromone and demon hellfire mingled with his own vessel’s scent, and he shifted nervously over her. Reaching across the tight plane of her stomach, he palmed her breast gently and tried to distract them both by touching her.  
    The look she gave him let him know she wasn’t fooled.  
    “Stage fright?” she asked.  
    “I… don’t know what to do.”  
    Meg’s eyes shut and the insistent push of her fingers eased until she was merely caressing his ears again. He heard her exasperated sigh. “Really, Clarence? Not even a clue?”  
    He shrugged. “Nothing beyond a few videos Dean said I shouldn’t watch and what I’ve watched the humans do. Even then it seemed rather… complex and often times the females look as if they’d rather be sleeping.”  
    “I’ll make it simple,” she offered without looking at him. “I won’t fake it this time around. If I moan, you’re doing it right. One time only deal.”  
    That did seem too easy, he thought as her one leg slipped over his shoulder. He lowered his mouth to her inner thigh and inhaled deeply, unable to stop from looking back up at her mask-like face.  “You smell more human here.”  
    “What, need to talk through it? I think the point is for your mouth to be occupied, feathers, which will be a nice switch for some peace and quiet,” Meg taunted but for once her voice lacked any real sting. The hand he had flattened on her breast let him feel that she was as tense as he was about this. He shook his head and with a hesitant brush of his lips he pressed a kiss to the dampness between her legs.  
    The taste was muskier, like sex given an actual flavour, and he ran his tongue flat to try to sample the difference between demon and woman. He could taste something bitter and salty, his own come still wet inside of her, but there was something even stronger overwhelming that taste the longer he trailed his tongue through the wet folds. Closing his eyes, he leaned his weight into her legs and began a slow, meticulous discovery of what she was offering.   
    Still keeping her control, Meg started to mutter instructions to him while staring up at the ceiling to compose herself. It was easier to not struggle and take her pleasure where she could get it, though staying beneath the angel made her edgy at how much power she was giving him.  
    The gentleness he was showing was more terrifying than if he’d slapped his palm to her forehead and burned her out.  
    It only occurred to Castiel after a few minutes that she was moaning low, a sound he felt through her entire body, and he opened his eyes to see her back bowed a little. He didn’t lift his mouth from her, guided by the fingers gently turning his head this way and that to get the better angle, and he sucked gently on her clit, feeling the tiny throbbing going through her.  
    “Cas,” Meg muttered and she reached down to the hand on her breast, lifting it from her and then pushing it down between her legs. Castiel shifted back and watched her fingers wrap around his and she spread her legs a little wider. He glanced up at her face to see her staring at the ceiling once again. Dragging his fingers through the wet heat seeping out of her body, he lowered his head and licked along the small entrance that quivered at each rasp of his tongue. When he pushed a finger into her, Meg’s breath exhaled sharply and he felt her fingernails sink into his shoulder after she let go of his hand.  
    For a moment, he thought he did something wrong.  
    “Am I doing this right?” he asked curiously before brushing over her clit with his tongue, nipping at the skin on her thigh when she didn’t answer him. A strange cry came from her and he allowed his grace to tinge the air around her, making everything seem so much more sensitive and alive when it brushed against the darkness just under her borrowed skin. Meg moaned and twisted a little under his grip, and he felt the velvety soft walls holding his fingers tighten up. He continued to kiss and lick at her, finding her moans now just as addictive as they had been the first time he’d touched her.  
    “Damn it.”  
    Meg sat up suddenly, a strangled sigh coming from her.   
    “Cas… you don’t have to,” she warned and he looked up, seeing that she was struggling against what he was doing to her. She grabbed his hair tight in her hand and tried to pull him off. “Cas, just… you don’t need to. I’m a big demon. More than capable of finishing this off. Give me a minute….”  
    “No.” He shook his head and used the flat of his hand to push her back down, resting his hand on her solar plexus to keep her still. Meg exhaled and then shrugged.  
    “Not sure you’re ready for seein’ this to the end, big guy. Trying to save a little bit of your sinnin’ for later.”  
    “ I have no intention of stopping.” Meg’s eyes were black when she looked back at him but he wasn’t repulsed. “I want to see what I do to you from here.”  
    He moved back to licking and nipping at the sensitive flesh, learning from the way her body twitched and bucked up to meet his mouth. Castiel moaned as he tasted a new wetness, just as bittersweet and sexual as before, and he thrust his fingers deep inside of her. She started to move her hips up at him and he couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction.  
    “Did you want me to stop again?”  
    She cursed under her breath. “Shut up.”  
    “Very well.” He bit her inner thigh again gently and slid his fingers against her.  
    “Curl them… forward,” Meg managed, finally getting over her hesitation, and he did as she asked. He could feel a tiny rough ridge on her inner walls and he rubbed at it curiously. Meg cried out unexpectantly and the leg on his shoulder suddenly clenched to hold him tighter against her. “Castiel!”  
    He shut his eyes, enjoying the sound of her cries and the shivers of her body, as he kept licking and sucking the wetness from her cunt. It was the one moment when he was sure he might not get enough though he’d promised it be over in the morning.  
    Things like this… may be too addicting and he could see the reason why Dean enjoyed sex so much.  
    Meg strained against him, fighting off the feelings he was creating, entire body arched at the feel of his tongue running the ridge of her clit. His teeth kept grazing her, his fingers now thrusting without any real rhythm but she felt herself edging towards a desperate release she hadn’t expected from an untried angel.   
    Then again, just because he’d not physically participated with human sex before didn’t mean he wasn’t aware of what to really do.  
    When she managed to open her eyes just enough to glance down, he was staring back at her.  
    The sight of those blue eyes made her entire body spasm and arch through the crackle of an orgasm she’d been holding off on. Her thighs slid up around his head, clenching tightly to keep him where she wanted him as she twisted on the coat. The fingers thrusting inside of her stilled as her inner walls tightened around them, holding them in their place, and Meg’s cry was loud. She quickly clamped her hand over her mouth to quiet the sound and she arched her hips up to chase the sensation. Castiel felt her almost pulsing against his tongue and sank his lips tighter around her clit, realizing that she had begged him with her body.  
    Aware that she’d allowed him a tiny fraction of power over her he’d not had before.  
    He laved at her more delicately as her orgasm started to ease, feeling how sensitive she remained by the way she twitched whenever his tongue brushed a sensitive spot. Still tasting her in his mouth, he pushed up and trailed a path with his tongue up the centre of her body until he gently brushed his nose against her lips.  
    She gave him a groggy look of abated pleasure and he smiled at the sight of it, bracketing her head with his arms. He hadn’t expected his vessel to get hard from such a simple act but his lower body ached to be inside the wet heat that he could still feel rippling around his fingers like an intimate kiss. Meg looked groggy, troubled, but when he lifted her leg around his hip she slid her other leg up and crossed her feet behind his thighs.  
    Castiel was unprepared for the relaxed sensation that went through him when he sunk deep inside of Meg, feeling her clench tight around his cock and hold him still. She groaned and ran her nails down his back and then back up to try to draw him closer. Lowering his head, he tried to kiss her, wanting to taste her mouth again, but she looked away, fingers flexing hard into his back in silent warning.  
    “I want to kiss you,” he ordered and he felt her fidget underneath him. “Meg.”  
    Her face shuttered up a little and those black eyes returned to stare him down. “Want to kiss a demon that bad? Man you must be fallin’ hard eh?” she snapped.   
    “You have to make things difficult,” he whispered and he shook his head when Meg kept pulling her lips away. Castiel sighed and grasped her chin with his hand, holding her still so he could kiss her. Meg muttered something, now muffled by his tongue, and he groaned into the kiss when she finally began to kiss him back. He tasted more of the demon here, less of the woman’s body she wore, and yet he enjoyed the bitter burn of darkness.   
    Meg dragged her nails down his back, causing small welts to raise up on his skin, and he twisted as his Grace slammed back at her for the wounds. Dropping his mouth to her throat, he sucked at her skin and shuddered when she bit his earlobe.  
    “I think you being in control a bit too much,” she muttered against his ear.  
   _She had to stop this from going too far… from letting him figuring out how to use sex as a weapon._  
 _She needed to take back control. Needed to prove she could if she wanted to._  
    Meg felt his mouth drifting over her jugular, a seductive trail of lips and teeth, and she groaned before she dug her nails into the indenture of spine just above his buttocks, raking them so hard that the skin actually pulled taut and burned from the pressure.  
    He hissed and lifted his head, staring at her in surprise.   
    Grinning, she tightened her thighs around his waist and shoved up hard. His eyes widened as she toppled him over onto the ice cold floor, moving so fast that he couldn’t stop her as she straddled him. Meg slid her body low over his, just keeping her mouth out of reach from his kiss.  
    “You don’t like being out of control. You’re turning this into a power struggle,” he muttered as he reached up and ran his hand down her side.  
    “Try not to look so shocked, Castiel.” Her dark hair draped down over her shoulder   and shadowed her intricately, making her two-faced with moonlight shining through the small window. His eyes narrowed and he shoved his hand into her hair, pulling her down a bit further.  
    “What are you trying to prove, Meg?” he whispered against her lips, eyes like ice and fingers grasping so tight that she gasped in pain. “That you’re a demon? That I should never trust you?”  
    He snapped out the words while his other hand slid down her back and he felt her tighten around him when he pushed up against her. The demon stared back at him and rocked herself slowly, eyes closing a little.  
    “I’ve not forgotten that you are a demon.” He tilted his head and brushed his mouth against her jaw. “Not since we met in Carthage have I let it slip my mind. I just don’t think it means the same thing to me that it means to you. I do trust you to do exactly what I expect you to do.”  
    He thought he was able to control her and Meg raked her nails down his chest angrily.  
    “Self-righteous,” she growled against his cheek and he nodded.  
    “I know.” The hand in her hair forced her head down further, so close that her eyes nearly crossed to keep him in focus. “Does it matter to you what I think?”  
    “You’re suggesting I care about what happens because of all this? That I’m going to turn into some simpering girl because I fucked you? You don’t know me at all,” Meg whispered, biting into her lower lip as the hand on her back slid down to stroke her belly. Traces of his power flowed through her, drawing faint white lines on her skin that only Castiel could see, and he watched the glow for a moment before finally looking back up at her.  
    “I know you, Meg. I just don’t think I understand you.” He released her hair slowly and watched her straighten up.   
    “Join the club,” she whispered, looking away. Suddenly that off-look in his eyes made her uncomfortable and she wanted to pull away. But the sensation of Grace just burning at her darkness was addictive, painful yet pleasurable and she shut her eyes to enjoy it. She shook her head, swallowing a moan down. He was distracting her easily, still using a goddamn con on her senses, and she didn’t care. “Fuck. Let’s worry about it in the morning.”  
    He didn’t answer her, just watched the way her gaze wandered over him before settling on his eyes. Meg arched a dark brow and smirked at him, reaching down and taking his hands in hers, resting them on her hips.  
    “Might as well let you see if you like to be on top or on the bottom while we’re running the gamut of the beginner course.”  
    “There’s a difference?” he asked, unable to hide his relief that her tension had faded a little. Meg actually chuckled and leaned over him to grab her jacket, shoving it under his head. He slid his fingers down her hips and jerked her down hard to keep himself inside her. The feeling it gave made him close his eyes gratefully before opening them again.  
    “Mmhmm.” She squirmed a little just to hear him gasp. “And you better be praying your thanks to me, Cas, not to God. Because it’s my knees that are going to fucking hurt in the morning with this. Don’t ever say I don’t show you the kicks.”  
    He blinked and looked down to watch the slow movement of her body on his, not realizing she was watching him again. For her it was fascinating to see him look utterly perplexed yet completely in control, as if he had managed to completely disconnect from the sensations of his vessel. He glanced over her body, as if he was trying to figure out the mechanics of what was happening, and she tilted her head a little.  
    “Focus, feathers. That itty-bitty birdbrain of yours is still doing overtime during the half-time show.”  
    “I am focussed but you are trying to distract me.”  
    She grinned. “How? By doing this?” Raising herself a little, she pushed down slowly and felt him push up at her to try to sink deeper into her. “Not bad. You like it when I tease you.”  
    His fingers tightened on her hips and he shook his head, looking up at her finally. “It’s confusing. I don’t want you to pull back but I do because of how it feels.”  
    “That’s your problem, Cas. You’re over-thinking this.” Meg rolled her hips again just to hear him suck in another breath. “Just focus on me and let that pretty little righteous mind rest.”  
    Likely it was the wrong thing to say, Meg realized, because once she did those blue eyes stared at her with such intent that it did an odd thing to her stomach that hadn’t happened since she was human.  
    Angels and their ability to multi-task.  
    She began to slowly move on top of him, biting into her lower lip as she ignored the bruising pain in her knees and focussed on not losing her control. It would be easier to just slam down and go to town on him but if she was going to be the one demon who taught an angel a thing or two about sex she was going to enjoy it.  
    Especially so that when he did this again he’d always think about her in one way or another.  
    Her hips moved slowly as she rocked on top of him, setting a slow, teasing rhythm that had him closing his eyes and biting into his swollen lower lip. Meg’s dark hair curled over her shoulder as she watched him, fingers dragging down his chest to brush down the smoothness of his stomach, hips lowering when he rolled his own up. Her breath stuttered out when he nudged deeper inside of her and she shuddered, forgetting for a moment what the point of this was.  
    The angel underneath her felt the difference in her body the moment she let go.  
    Castiel opened his eyes to see her head tilting back, mouth slack in pleasure and he sat up slowly, curving his arms over her hips to hold her close. She shifted again, this time pulling him closer rather than pushing him away. Every muscle inside of her grasped and pulled him deeper and deeper inside of her body and he felt only relief from it now; relief instead of confusion and guilt at desiring it. Her fingers went from his stomach to his shoulders, clenching tight, and he turned her head to the side to lick at her neck. The tender joint of muscle between neck and shoulder made him press a kiss there, realizing how alike her body the demon actually was. Whipcord tight and strong.  
    His hands slid down her back, over her shoulder blades and for a moment he wondered what she would think of his trueform, of his wings. If she would be as a repelled by his light as he should be by the darkness that he could see running along her borrowed features.  
    Or if she would find some beauty in it the way he strangely did with her.  
    Meg shuddered as his hands stroked and teased her back and her head fell back, dark hair sweeping over his fingers. Focussing on what few memories Jimmy had left him, Castiel kissed her neck, traced his tongue over the ridge of her throat to feel what the muted cries coming from her did to her body, and his hands slid seductively over muscle and bone. He could feel the long lines of scar tissue, burned there eternally, and the mark of where his wings had burned her soul during his descent into Cocytus.  
    But he didn’t want to picture such agony and instead he lost himself in the feel of soft mortal flesh and the greedy clench of her body around his.  
    Castiel leaned his head against her collarbone as he heard her low ragged moan and palmed her breast in one hand, caressing the skin just roughly enough to give her what she needed. Her thighs clenched around his hips and her inner muscles squeezing him so tight as she came, and he groaned in return, wanting it not to end. He wanted her cries of pleasure to turn to something more lasting, wanted her admission that she’d wanted him so that he wasn’t alone in feeling this guilty desire.  
    Meg slumped a little forward, and he lifted his head to kiss her, thrusting up into her so that he could feel the way her cunt clasped tighter and tighter around him through her orgasm.   
    It wasn’t enough, might never be enough.  
    He turned her under him and rested on top of her, thrusting slower to try to drag out even as she started to urge him on by whispering how it felt to her. The words were dark and seductive, but enough to push him on. Digging his fingers into her hip and shoulder, he pulled her body up into his and thrust harder and harder. Her body was pliant under his, moving however he needed it, her fingers drawing into his hair and scratching against his scalp and making him believe for a moment she was content. His cry against her neck was desperate and pained, his focus on that glimpse of pure pleasure he’d enjoyed before and finding it in the body of an enemy. She murmured his name in his ear and he whimpered in reply as he emptied himself into her body, body thrusting and jerking sharply against hers as her legs clenched tight around his hips.  
    He could stop if he tried, he knew it. But he didn’t want to; the more human instinct of his vessel, an instinct to stay inside her, won over his sensible side so he rode it out until he collapsed into her arms and shuddered over her.  
    The silence in the room was broken by the loud sound of panting breath and occasional moan whenever they shifted against each other. Castiel slid out of her, trying not to mourn the loss of heat, and he felt her fingers clench tight in his hair.   
    “Not bad, feathers,” Meg murmured in his ear before she pressed a biting kiss against his collarbone. “Fast learner. Gold star.”  
    “That’s a compliment?” he asked, unable to move.  
    “Rare one from me but I’ll admit that you earned it.” She shifted. “Floor’s cold though.”  
    Meg’s body was wet with sweat, and his own slipped against hers when he tried to move. Her arms slid around his shoulders again and slowly they moved back until they were lying on his coat again. Unable to bear the thought of overanalysing what they were doing again, he slipped down her body until his head rested against her stomach again. She was again quiet and he wondered as he panted for breath if he was going to be thrown off her now that they were done.  
    But the demon simply shifted herself on the coat and seemed to fall asleep beneath him. Her muscles relaxed and when he glanced up her face was calm and her eyes were shut.  Though he didn’t actually need sleep, the warmth of her body and the smell of sweat and sex lulled him into a doze he hadn’t realized he needed.   
    Worry about it in the morning, he decided as he shut his eyes and decided to wait for her to wake and go back to her normal thorny nature. He had some time though to pretend. To forget and think for a moment that things like this were normal and he was not a sinner for wanting them.  
  
~~~  
    Meg woke slowly from her doze, aware of a heady taste of sex in her mouth and a hot press of something too heavy to be a blanket across her belly. Moaning against the startling ache in her muscles she rubbed her hand down her face and yawned. Demons never slept, she thought, and you are a demon.   
    So what the hell is wrong with you? Why were you sleeping?  
    When she looked down, she jerked and realized that the dead-weight on her was alive. Castiel was draped across her stomach, his arms stretched to either side of her body. She wasn’t sure how the rest of him managed to fit on the coat with her but he was curled so tightly around her she actually had to suck in a few breaths to keep from panicking.   
    He murmured and nuzzled her skin sleepily, muttering in Enochian. His dark hair tickled the underside of her breast as he shifted on her.  
    “Up.”   
    He ignored the order.  
    “Get up or I’m shoving you over.”  
    “If you shove me over,” Castiel warned in a groggy voice, “I am going to smite you. I am comfortable and you can stay still for a few minutes longer.”  
    Meg huffed. “You weigh as much as the Chrysler Building, fat ass.”  
    The angel didn’t actually seem to move but somehow she found their positions reversed with him under her taking up the entirety of the coat and her pressed into his chest. He tucked her in with his arms and nestled his head in her messy curls. Meg squirmed uselessly.  
    “Damn it, Castiel, I’m not some sort of living Snuggie for you to…”  
    “Stop it.” He sighed and pressed a kiss to her head. “I just want a moment.”  
    She shoved at his arms uselessly.  
    “I am a demon, Clarence. I don’t do ‘moments’ or this nesting business of yours, you oversized peacock. We’re done, remember? Morning hits and we go back to the truce…”  
    “The more time you take to insult me, the longer it will take for me to wake from my nap.” He exhaled slowly and Meg continued to grumble prettily but eventually the slow thud-thud of his heartbeat lulled her back into a doze. “See? What you call nesting isn’t so bad.”  
    “Shut up and go back to sleep. I decided that I want morning sex.”  
    “I’ll try my best to accommodate with my limited knowledge. Five more minutes.”  
    Meg was more than a little insulted by how easily he fell back asleep underneath her but she didn’t bother to point out that angels didn’t need sleep anymore than demons did. Chewing on her lower lip, she drew a sigil on his chest with her nails, the faint pressure on his skin raising a tiny welt. But there was nothing else to do but wait and she gave up on trying to break his hold. There was little point.  
    Morning was here and what had happened over the night was going to mean little in the cold light of day. After he left to go back to his normal guardian duties down below, all of this would mean nothing.   
    Just a simple moment of fascination and curiosity that had no place in the war they were in.


End file.
